31

It seem like I only remember to post here during my birthday now. This year I post earlier than ever! I'm only 1 day away from 31. I can't help to repeat this sentence again, How am I 31 already?!, there I say it.

Now it's time to tell you about my 30. I had a big change in my life again. Nope...it's not marriage.👅
I change my job, I quit the government job. The main problem is I was not happy there, I know it's not my goal to work there day by day until 60 and retire. I think I'm more adventurous type. So I buy my contract and now move to my father's hometown ( 2 hrs from my parents house) to work in a private hospital. Fast and risky money. I'm during my third month here, and so far I'm ok with it. Who know what life gonna bring next.

As I'm getting older, I'm thinking more of what I want to do in life. Since I've spent most times in the box, I studied hard, I went to Med school, I become a doctor, I go to work almost everyday, I come home to sleep, and I wake up to work again. It's becoming very repetitive. I got bored. I feel like I don't know about outside world anymore. I don't have much joy in life. I want to jump out of this box, but then I'm also afraid to jump out of it. Because I came so far to be in this position, what if I jump and I keep falling and falling and never rise again.

The only person that make my days better is my boyfriend. He is very supportive and caring. He is the angel voice inside my head. He inspire me to be a better person. And he also trying to move here to be with me. I don't think I could ever ask for better. He also make me realize why it was never worked with anyone else. Because I never happy with myself...so I make others unhappy with me too. By the time I realized it I almost lost him too. And I'm hoping it's not too late.